Yesterday I was watching a few episodes (season 1 episode 16, 17 and 18) of ‘How I met your mother’ about long distance relationships. It was basically about how long distance is a bad idea. Ted: “Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college”. But Lily also said something positive I really can relate with: “When things get hard abroad, the thing that got me trough is knowing that my soulmate was back home waiting for me”. I agree: the best thing of having a relationship while being abroad, is knowing that there will always be someone who wants to hear all your stories, the good and the bad ones.
Living far away from your significant other for a long period of time can be scary and sad, but this is not a reason to stop you from following your dreams to travel and/or to learn new things. I will explain why.
Before leaving you will be scared and you will wonder if your relationship will survive the distance: will the love remain when you’re only talking and there is no physical contact anymore, and will you are your lover be able to resist the temptation from others?
For me personally this scared feeling disappeared after the first few weeks. The long distance remedy: video call. My boyfriend wanted to call with me every other day and we watched Netflix series together twice a week via video calls. This guy could still make sure all my emotional needs were fulfilled. From that moment on I knew that our relationship was strong. And yes, you will miss cuddling at night and you will find yourself starting to wonder if it would be weird to ask the cute guy you are sitting next to in the bus, who has the same body posture as your boyfriend, if you could rest your head on his shoulder, but also you will know that you can wait with physical contact until you see your boyfriend again.
During your period abroad you will really miss your boyfriend every once in a while. Sometimes you will experience the most wonderful things, for instance seeing a beautiful landscape you’re not used to, a concert of your favourite artist, fireworks or the sunset. A week ago I was even watching the stars at night in the sand of the Sahara desert. In those kind of moments your feelings can change from being the happiest person on earth to the sad feeling of missing your boyfriend because you would love to share the moment with him. Especially when you see other couples staring at the sunset together being happy and touchy it can get hard. When this sudden change of mood happens for me, I can hear the song ‘No sense’ from Justin Bieber playing in the back of my head: “It don’t make no sense less I’m doing it with you. Been around the world, it ain’t the same without you”. But I can assure you this feeling never stays long, because when you are travelling or studying abroad you will be surrounded by the greatest group of people that found each other because they share the same love for adventure, and all of them also had to say goodbye to their loved ones at home.
Especially when your boyfriend is visiting you abroad it can get hard. The hardest period is certainly after he left to go home again. Before my boyfriend came to visit I only missed him lowkey, because I was having a great time with my new friends in my new hometown in Spain. After he had visited me I knew that the great time I had in Segovia could be even greater when he also was involved. The first few hours after he left I would have told you that it would be a bad idea to fly your boyfriend over. I really had to get myself out of my bed and my apartment because it reminded me of the fun days I spend with him and I sat down in a quiet park in the sun. There it hit me: feeling sad is not a bad thing. It makes you aware of your emotions and feelings. It means that you care a lot about the thing you’re sad about.
Conclusion:
By studying abroad I realized that my boyfriend really is my soulmate and that I can't wait to spend many days and nights with him in the coming years when I get home. Having a long distance relationship will clarify a lot a about yourself and your relationship. That is why you shouldn’t give up on your dreams ór your relationship! You should try doing both together, because it is amazing to have someone to talk to, who really knows you and it is the ultimate relationship test.
Good luck and most of all, have fun during your period abroad!
By: Evelien Edwards
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